Set Your Sights On Things Above
We so quickly get our eyes off God. Let's get back into
perspective.
perspective.
11/30/2013
Comic reliefThere are times when kids say stuff. They say things that will make you cringe, cry, and crash all at once. Like one time, our 7 year old daughter turned to the infamous 9 year old John, and said, "Do you know who keeps our neighborhoods safe?" (no, I don't know why she was asking a question like that, but I swear she was - it was weird, but hey, what do you expect.)
John answered, "Of course, it's the police. What, did you think it was just some guy named Steve?" (As if no police are ever named Steve) So we live near Burbank, California, and on the way to church we have a clear view of the WB watertower - the one featured in Animaniacs where Yacko, Wacko and their sister Dot have 'lived' for years. (It's a cartoon - a favorite of our family) Dot's tag line was that she was the 'cute one.' So tonight we're driving down the road looking at that water tower, and Tricia - Miss 7 year old - turns to me and says, "Look! It's the Warner Brothers Water Tower!" With a flourish, she began putting on a pair of sunglasses and said, "I'm Dot, 'cuz I'm the cute one!" And then there's John - again. Today he comes in the kitchen and says, "Hey! I just made a new world's record." (Did I want to know the rest?) So I said, "Oh, great! In what?" "Not gagging on peanut butter sandwiches in my entire life." Yes, that was his world record event. NOT ever having gagged on his pb&j's.... weird, huh? He wasn't done. "Yea mom, I only gag on your food - not ever on a pb&j." "Oh well, good to know, Johnboy." Got any funnies from your kids to share for the holidays?
11/27/2013
.99cent Sale!My book, Babel's First Light, along with the books of several other authors, is on sale for .99 cents starting today and running through December 2. Check out this blog
Grace and Faith that's featuring them all.
11/21/2013
Jesus knowsReading in Mark 7 today, I’ve always wondered why Jesus spoke so seemingly harshly to the Syrophenician woman who asked Jesus to cast a devil out of her young daughter. Jesus dealt with each person as an individual. When specific people came to Him with questions, He answered them the way THEY needed to be answered. When the rich man came and asked how He could be saved, Jesus addressed more than just salvation – He addressed the one thing that rich man needed to take off the throne of his heart. He didn’t deal in platitudes, He didn’t sugarcoat. He said what that particular person needed to hear. So Jesus’ response to this Greek woman has always baffled me. It seems so harsh, so unprecedented anywhere else in Jesus’ dealings with anyone else. I mean, look at the woman at the well. She wasn’t fully Jewish, she was what the Jews then called a half-breed, someone the rest of them despised. Yet Jesus treated her with respect, and didn’t act as if she wasn’t worthy. The Greek woman He seems to treat differently, as if she really doesn’t deserve any respect. Frankly, nowhere else in the Gospels does Jesus treat someone this way – whether Jew or Greek. So, I have to wonder. Was something going on in this woman’s life that needed to be addressed? I mean, that IS how Jesus dealt with people, and the Bible doesn’t always tell us what that other person needed. It’s just something Jesus dealt with, in a public way, and yet kept her business private at the same time. There’s a hidden exchange going on in this passage between Jesus and this woman. I’ve always thought it, always wondered at it. Greeks often held themselves superior to other peoples. They had slaves, they saw Jews as inferior, and probably other people, too. So I wonder if this woman had called other people ‘dogs’, had degraded her slaves, treated people so badly that she called them unworthy to eat at her table. What if she was the bigot, and Jesus was pointing this out to her? What if she hated Jews, and now was coming to a Jew for help as if she could hide the darkness and bitterness in her heart towards Jews? What if Jesus’ words rang in her heart like a foghorn, cutting away the cloudy fog of hatred, and opening up to her mind exactly how mean she’d become? In verse 27 of Mark 7, Jesus says something that to me seems particularly pointed. He says, “Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it unto dogs.” I wonder if Jesus said this because it was a quote from her. I wonder if this woman said something similar, or even exactly the same, about someone else dining at her table. I wonder if this was how she was treating her slaves, or a ward under her care, or the poor in her city. It was this quote of Jesus’ that seems to be pointed directly to her, and it was this quote of His that she reacts to. She is humbled by it. In verse 28 of Mark 7, the woman seems to acquiesce to whatever message Jesus is directing at her, and only her. She says that the dogs under the table eat the crumbs that the children leave. She seems to be placing herself in with the dogs under the table now, instead of assuming she’s a child of the household – or even the mistress of the table. In verse 29 of Mark 7, Jesus cites her saying from verse 28 as the reason He will heal her daughter. It was her finally coming to humility that did it. Her finally admitting she wasn’t superior to others, that she wasn’t better than the Jews – than Jesus Himself. She considered herself going to an inferior to help, but she wasn’t helped until Jesus made her see the darkness in her heart and helped her overcome it. So, while Jesus in this passage seems uncharacteristically harsh, I wonder if it isn’t exactly what the Greek woman needed to hear. I understand the passage doesn’t go into specifics on this woman, this is all conjecture on my part, and I certainly wouldn’t draw any doctrines out of this speculation. But from other instances, it does seem to make sense. (Yes, I know - my writer-senses are tingling. I sense a Biblical fiction story coming out of this.) And it speaks to me, too. Jesus always dealt with people as individuals, giving them what they needed to hear. So often we think of Jesus as saving the world, and He did. But Jesus also deals with me as an individual. He deals with me on a personal level, He will address things to me, things that apply to me in a special and personal way. Things that perhaps the rest of the world doesn’t know, but Jesus knows, and Jesus won’t let them remain in me just because other people don’t know. Jesus addresses them, and expects me to come clean, and expects me to just submit to Him. And Jesus loves me. It’s safe to do that. It’s safe to let Jesus be a personal savior, knowing the ins and outs of my mind and heart. Same for you, too. I might not know the ins and outs of your personal walk, but Jesus does. And you can bet that while His way may seem harsh for the moment, it’s for your good, for your best. Let Jesus be your personal Savior, not just a name on the page.
11/14/2013
Give or TakeThis is a perfect analysis of the introvert. Click the text below to check it out. I didn't write the article the link leads to, but it resonated with me. The above article made me think. I am a classic introvert. Social interactions for me are draining - even when I'm absolutely enjoying myself, love all the people involved, no stressful drama or fights - it's all draining.
The link I shared above made me laugh so hard - because it's so totally true! I have the hardest time with small talk - because it seems to be so wasteful. It's really not always, because it helps form bonds, make friendships, but it's hard sometimes to convince my introverted self of that. I find myself picking and choosing what interactions I'll join in, even at church. Which is more important? Which can I do without? It often means I get left out, frankly, because some people think I just don't want to interact. It's not that I don't want them around - it's that every interaction takes my energy leaving me feeling drained a bit, and those little drains add up over the day. When drained of all that social energy, I wind up feeling anxious and grumpy. My husband says I just get 'done with people' and to some degree that's true. Of course, my husband is a classic EXtrovert, so the exact opposite of me. Every social interaction energizes him, so that by the end of the day he's usually more ready to talk, while I just want to be left alone for awhile. While I wish other people understood this about me, I also recognize that I should be willing to do my part, too. It isn't all on others to meet me where I am. I can spare some energy to smile first at another person - to let them know that I recognize them as someone pleasant to be around. I can make sure to have a bit of alone time to recharge each day. But for those of you who know an introvert (and you all do) - don't think that they're just shy. Don't talk yourself out of smiling and being nice to the introvert - they get lonely, too. Needing some alone time can get out of hand - we can become too used to it, and get sort of stuck in being alone. So we wind up not getting any interaction at all, and then we get real lonely indeed. Feeling left out isn't pleasant for anyone, but I think the introvert is a little more prone to it than most others - simply because they have times when they truly and honestly need to be left alone. Other people can oftentimes interpret this as ALWAYS wanting to be left alone. To help your introvert, don't be pushy, but be available. Sit next to them, include them in your extroverted conversation simply by glancing at them while talking. Invite them in to your circle with subtlety, but friendly moves. Don't think that just because they aren't saying much, that they aren't enjoying the conversation. They are probably taking it all in to relive later. So whether you're an intro- or an extro-, we can meet each other where we're at. God likes balance, doesn't He? He's made us so we have so many differences, that in order to have relationships we have to come out of ourselves, figure out who someone else is, and meet them where they are. If everyone does that, then we'll wind up having a bit more balanced world, I think.
11/12/2013
November 12th, 2013Saturday and Sunday morning I was getting discouraged about my writing. I have several projects started, several plotted, and a few in the beginning stages of mapping out. But I can't seem to get the one that I'm on finished satisfactorily. I feel like I'm pushing through a fast-moving creek going the wrong way. On the way to church Sunday morning I had the thought that maybe God really doesn't want me concentrating on my writing - maybe I should just give up. I don't want to, mind you - but I was really wondering.
Then I got to church - a couple and their grown daughter who moved away a few years ago came back to town for a weekend visit. The daughter stopped me after the service and told me she's been following my blog and that she really enjoys it. She said she thought I was very good at expressing my thoughts in writing. I'm not repeating her words to get a pat on the back, but rather to say I felt like God gave me that little word of encouragement from an unexpected source. She didn't have to say anything at all, but she did. And I felt like it was just a breath of fresh air from Heaven. So I gave myself a bit of a day off yesterday - not alot of social media, no pressure to get to writing if I didn't feel anything. Sometimes Jesus told the disciples to come apart and rest, because He knew they needed the lessening of pressure at times. I needed that too, and today I'm thinking better. What a blessing to have gotten that one word of encouragement from her. She may not have realized how much it meant to me. I want her to know how much I needed it that day. Thank you. Sometimes you just need a little bit of encouragement, and isn't it nice when God brings it without you asking?
11/2/2013
Forget-me-notsThis is about Dementia - not flowers, sorry.
Dementia, in any form, is devastating to everyone touched. I know it is - for two years we took care of my husband's grandfather while he slowly deteriorated from this terrible thing. I have relatives dealing with it even as we speak. It's all-encompassing for anyone who is doing the care-giving, plus so emotionally taxing. Suddenly the parent that has always taken care of you, is needing you to take care of them, eventually in even the most basic of functions. You wake up one morning, and your parent has forgotten where they are, what day it is, why you're in the house, and eventually, even more devastating, they forget who you even are. It's so stressful, it's like living in a pressure cooker all the time. Your loved one cannot be left alone in a room, because who knows what they'll do. You're reduced to treating them like they're two years old - when you've had a lifetime of being taught to treat them with respect and honor. There's stuff that goes on in this process that none of the rest of y'all want to know about - not criminal, mind you, just things that no one else wants to deal with, but it has to be done. So now you feel guilty on top of it all. And there's no relief. They can't be taken to a senior daycare, because those facilities don't manage people who can't remember to take themselves to the bathroom. Not to mention the fact that often added activity makes their dementia worse for that day, sometimes a couple days after, as well. You might not be able to afford in home care - we had a nurse come in for a little while each day, but it became so expensive we finally had to let her go. We probably could have afforded someone who wasn't a nurse, but we decided to take on the care ourselves. The money just wasn't there to afford outside, long-term help. It was absolutely exhausting, and took our entire family pitching in. There was myself, my mother-in-law, my husband, and our two oldest daughters helped with the watching part. In the past I've been a registered CNA, so I understand daily personal care-giving. My mother-in-law is a registered nurse, so she had quality healthcare training. I cannot imagine what people are going through who have no formal care-giving training. And believe me, I DO understand what I mean when I say I canNOT imagine. I know there's a whole other level of fear, trepidation, worry, stress, and outright terror involved if you come into this situation without feeling adequately prepared. And in it all, there's no one else who can help. Each time something new happened with grandpa we'd realize that we had to step it up a level. Grandpa had these collections of penknives - we eventually had to hide them all. Each time we turned around he'd have another one, and he'd be trying to cut something up - usually the tops off his socks. We don't know why he'd do that, but we couldn't just let him continue. I remember we'd follow him around watching like a hawk until he put that penknife down, then grab it when he wasn't looking and hide it from him. We finally had to scour every drawer, shelf, and cubbyhole in the house looking for those penknives because he seemed able to pull them out of thin air. It would have been comical if it weren't so terribly tragic. Once he got hold of the handset of the phone, and would not release it to anyone. He hit the talk button, too, so no one could call in to the house for a few hours. When he finally let it go, we realized we had to start putting the handset out of his reach. It was at this point that all sharp objects were put in a back area that he couldn't get to. All forks, knives of any sort, kitchen or otherwise, letter-openers, everything. The area of the house that he could access had to be completely childproofed - and that's a ton of work in a house they'd been living in for fifty years. For awhile there he realized he was missing things, he knew we were hiding things from him, and it got him angry. This man had spent a lifetime being unfailingly kind, even-tempered, the one his family could rely on to be their rock, the one that could handle any task he put his hands to. But it got to the point where he could no longer remember how to control his own emotions. It was devastating for him, it was devastating for us. He wasn't always kind anymore. He sometimes said things we hadn't thought would ever come out of his mouth. And we had to let it all roll off our backs - each day, all day. It's not easy to write about this, not easy to think about, not easy to deal with. Let me tell you though, it's much, much harder to live with it in your house, day in, day out, night in, night out, every second. No one wants to come over, because no one else wants to see this loved one in this state, either. You can't go out, because they can't be left alone, and too much extra activity wears him out, and makes his dementia worse that day - and probably for a couple days afterward. But I'm not writing this just to vent. I'm writing this in the hopes that it encourages someone, even one person, to reach beyond yourself for a little while. The people you know dealing with this right now need your help. You might say that you don't know how to deal with someone like that. Well, the ones living with it didn't know how to deal with it either, but they are in a situation that they cannot get out of, and they feel guilty for WANTING to get out of it. Volunteer to go over there and sit with their loved one for a little while. They'll probably refuse the first time or two that you offer. Keep offering, and if you're a real close friend of the family, or another relative, just show up. Let them know you understand their sweet loved one might cuss them out until they're blue in the face. Let them know you understand you might have to clean up a mess. Let them know you understand that you might have to keep yourself out of arm's reach, because the grip on that fragile-looking senior citizen is INCREDIBLE, and you do not want to have to extricate yourself from it. Other relatives living in the area? Be available! Show up and just start cleaning the house. Believe me, they need it. Don't judge when the house smells bad - because sometimes it will. Just help. Take out the trash. Sweep the floor. Clean the toilet. Clean out the refrigerator. Dust something. Go BUY GROCERIES. Oh goodness - some of these basic things just no longer showed up on our radar, and they'd get forgotten, and then there's something else to feel guilty about, making us feel like we'd failed. When we were going through this with Grandpa, we had one relative that committed to taking him to his doctor's appointments for us. What a blessing this was! And just one example of a creative way to help a family that desperately needed help. Oh how I wish everyone understood these things. I can't tell you how many times I've heard stories of people in this sort of situation, and there's other family nearby - like within a five or six minute drive from the house - and the other relatives almost never show up. I know it's usually not out of malice, or intentionally being neglectful - they aren't trying to ignore, they just have their own lives and their own things they do. It's not like they're sitting at home doing nothing - usually. Most often, these other relatives feel as if they CAN'T handle what's going on. They believe they are not ABLE to help, that they don't know what to do. What they forget, I think, is that the family living in the house often feel the exact same way. They feel they are out of their element, all of this is beyond their capability, above what they can handle. They don't know what they're doing either. All they need is someone else to take a little bit of some of it off their shoulders. To stand next to them, maybe hold their hand, pray with them, talk to them, remember who they are. Think about it.....these families are YOUR family. The ones living there in the house with the loved one afflicted with dementia are hurting. They are in desperate need of a respite - and respite care doesn't take on the intensive type watchcare that most of these people need. Not to mention the fact that respite care is not cheap - in any way, shape, or form. They are in desperate need of being able to get out of the house, with the knowledge that their loved one is being watched lovingly, by another responsible person. Or maybe they just need to go in their own room and take a nap. Seriously - nap time is important! Give them an hour or two of your time. Don't isolate them. Be a support. I know you're busy. I know you have legitimate things that you have to take care of or your own household will fall apart. I get that. Your family gets that. But find some slot of time you can give this hurting, desperate family of your relatives. Show them you love them. Show that you care. To those living in this situation - you ARE understood. There ARE others who have gone through the same thing. There IS help. When someone offers you help, take them up on it. Don't be so independent that you think no one else can do what you're doing. They CAN. Let them. AND cookies for everyone who actually read all the way through this long long blog post. |
AuthorI'm Sherry Chamblee, aspiring author of Christian fiction, mom of six, wife to a cool dude, and caregiver to his granny. Besides that, I am just little old me - it's just a phrase, I'm not really old, honest. Check out my new release!
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December 2019
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